Mar 20, 2008

Anonymous wrote:

Q. .My best friend and I have been friends for years. I love her like a sister and she means the absolute world to me. She has been with her boyfriend for about three years. They seemed like the perfect couple, but recently when I went out with some of my other friends to a club I normally don’t frequent, I saw my friend’s man boo-ed (hugged) up with another woman. He didn’t see me, but I definitely saw him. I want to tell my friend so bad, but I know how this story ends. The woman always resents the friend. I don’t want to lose my friend, but I feel sick every time I see her with her man because I know what kind of dog he really is. So, should I tell my friend what I know about her man, or should I just mind my own business. I am so torn on this one. I hate being in this predicament.

A. Anonymous,

I pretty much know what it is you want to do. So, I’ll make this short and sweet. There’s an ole saying that I often hear “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” To be honest with you, your friend may end up resenting you. However, as a friend (a person who gives assistance; a patron; a supporter) it is your duty to let her know that her man is a DAWG. Put yourself in her situation……Need I say more. Depending how close you guys are I don’t see her resenting you, but then again; if this brother is putting it on her then you may be in trouble. Believe it or not there are certain levels of friendships we asscoiate with: Inner circle, Good Buddies, Significant others, and activity partners. From what it sounds to me, you and your friend have an inner circle friendship. Inner circle friendship, as understood, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other for the other's sake and that involves some degree of intimacy. We all have that friend that we can confide and believe in no matter what. If this is the special bond that you guys have, then you're good. Remember, in the long run, when you are doing the right thing it doesn't matter what happens because in the end you can look yourself in the mirror knowing you did the right thing.


*** The views expressed by ThePlayer does not reflect the views of The Savvy Sista. ThePlayer will be answering your questions every Monday and Wednesday. He can be reached at


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