Mar 24, 2008

Q. From Sweet Lady:

Why is it that men have a problem being consistent? If you say you are going to do something why can’t you just do it? If you say you’re going to call, CALL. I don’t understand. It’s not rocket science. If you start off doing something in the beginning of the relationship why can’t you keep doing it? I just need consistency. Is that too much to ask for?

A. Wow... First, let me apologize for all the men who are guilty of this including myself. No, your not asking a lot unless it is Football season...LOL!!! Men have some bad habits that I truly believe is hard for us to let go of (much like women and shopping). The thing with a man calling when he is supposed to call (as you so eloquently put it) could have a lot to do with that brother's memory. Maybe he forgot to call. That is an honest mistake that a lot of people make. Why didn't you just call him and see what's going on? You never know what could have been going on with that man, but you allowed your pride to step in so you didn't call him. Now I'm not saying that every man's inconsistency can be blamed on memory lose sometimes it can be as simple as the man is not as into you as you are in him. Trust me if you are someone this brother is really feeling, he will make time for you and do all the things you think he should do. Now I have to ask whether or not you do the things for him that you were doing in the beginning of the relationship? Do you wear the same lingerie for him that you were wearing in the beginning? I know you are wondering why I am saying this, but really it is pretty simple (as you said 'It's not rocket science'). A relationship involves two people and those two people have to make compromises in order for the relationship to grow and prosper. The things that you did to attract that man is the same thing you need to do throughout the relationship just as he needs to do in order to keep you. If either one of you start doing something in the beginning you need to keep that up. But let's be real, a lot of things some men do in the beginning is so that they can get you and get you in their bed. We know that women are down for all the romantic stuff and that's why we do it. Some men won't admit this, but I'm going to put it out there. A lot stuff men do is to get you in bed point blank. You need to address this problem with your man and if he isn't willing to do anything to change it then get to stepping.

The Player

*** The views expressed by ThePlayer does not reflect the views of The Savvy Sista. ThePlayer will be answering your questions every Monday and Wednesday. He can be reached at


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