Mar 31, 2008

Know the Truth
Dear Player,

Q. Do men believe that withholding the truth is the same as lying or are they equally deceptive? And if so, why do they feel the need to basically volunteer lies? I am confused as to why in the beginning of a friendship men feel the need to lie or just withhold information about their involvement with other women. If we both agreed to be friends and with that be completely honest, why is it that they feel you can't handle knowing there are other women. Not that I expect him to give a play by play or rattle off every woman or friend he talks to or is involved with but if somehow it comes up just be honest. If you can't hang because you have another date...be honest. Don't lie or just don't answer all night when we normally talk constantly and act as if I wouldn't notice you are acting differently. Men seem to feel that if they just don't talk about the other women that we wouldn't know which is still deceptive. It gives a false perception of the friendship and where it is going. Let me know the whole situation so that I can have a realistic view of what this is. If we are just friends why would he think I can't handle knowing the full truth.?

A. Dear Know the Truth

There’s an old saying that 'we' men live and die by and it goes something like this: “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Sounds to me, like you guys need to go back and re-evaluate this friendship. Obviously, for some reason your friend doesn’t think you can handle the truth. My question to you is: If you and this young man are indeed JUST friends why are you so broken up about why he’s lying about other women? My point is, I think you really like this guy more than you are admitting. In your writing, you make a comment that’s suspect to me: “friendship and where it is going.” What do you mean by where it’s going? Hell, I thought you guys were just friends! Look, I personally think, you gave up the COOKIES and thought you could handle just being friends with ya boy. It never works that way (especially if it’s good). Understand this, if you slept with this man, he has the best of both worlds. Consequently, because of a man’s greed for a woman's affection, he’s going to ride it out as long as he can. All the signs are there you just choose to ignore them. Baby girl, all I can tell you is if one of your female "friends" got caught lying to you would you be this upset? So maybe in your eyes you guys are more than just friends. I think the real reason you are upset is because you want more from this man.

-The Player
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