Apr 29, 2008

We’ve all been there before. In the beginning the relationship starts out with endless hours spent talking on the phone, texting each other, and sending frequent emails. He’s blowin’ up every means of communication available in order to reach you. He whispers sweet words into your ear, takes you to nice restaurants, treats you like the Nubian queen you are and shows open affection for you. You spend so much time together that you find yourself frequently late for work in the morning. And the cherry on the sundae is that he’s puttin’ it down between the sheets! This brothah is on his game. Then suddenly the calls become less frequent, the texts are few, and your email inbox hasn’t flashed his address across your screen in weeks. It becomes harder and harder to pin him down for a night at the movies, let alone an evening of the romantic intimacy you once shared. Hours and sometimes days go by before he returns your messages. You ask him what’s wrong and his answer is, “Baby, I’m just really busy.” Did I mention that his work schedule hasn’t changed.

The reality is that it’s not practical to expect that you’ll maintain the exact same level of intense fire and passion that you experienced in the very beginning of your relationship. As things progress and you get more comfortable with each other, a different rhythm and flow settles in. But when he’s MIA, and always has an excuse for why he can’t see you or be reached, what does that mean…is he really busy or is something up? Just yesterday I was talking to a brothah about this very subject and he told me that a man will make time for the things he really wants to do. So I want to pose the question to you, what does it mean when a man tells you he’s too busy, and how would you handle the shift in the relationship?

Trice Hickman, author of Unexpected Interruptions


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