May 27, 2008

By now it’s obvious that for Ayo and Bilal, the course of true love has not run smooth. There is very good reason to name this book tour “Against All Odds!” Add religion to the mix and you’ll understand why - Bilal is Muslim and Ayo most definitely is not.

Some of us know couples in modern-day “mixed marriages. For them, a belief in God is more important than how He is worshipped. They consider themselves equal opportunity believers with a healthy respect for each tradition, observing each other’s sacred days and exposing their children to the tenants of each. But according to others, anyone so “liberal” in matters of faith isn’t a true believer in the first place. For these people, their religion is like breath; a necessary, nonnegotiable component of who they are.

I asked this question a while back, and blogger Vee Jefferson put forth her opinion so eloquently: “Because a person's faith and religious customs and beliefs may influence the way he or she eats, sleeps, prays, and possibly even celebrates holidays, it would be ridiculous to think that a major difference in two views would be of little concern. Also, that faith is the determining factor for how the person will both act and react in a certain situation and how circumstances are viewed.” (Thanks again, Vee).

What say you?

In Islam, Jews and Christians are called “People of the Book” because God revealed Himself to their prophets as well. If you are any of these religions, could you have a serious relationship with anyone who was not?

If you’ve ever seriously dated someone of another faith, was that difference too great for the relationship to survive?

If you met a loving, committed, hardworking, generous and compassionate agnostic or atheist, would his questioning the existence of God or total disbelief in God be a deal-breaker?


  1. I've dated a Muslim when I was a teenager. And me being of the Christian faith it was a bit odd. He wanted me to only wear pants and to not add any other man but him or my father and brother. I could not let my hair out. It always needed to be in a ponytail ends wrapped up. But what I couldn't deal with was him telling me what I could and could not eat.

    It was fine about the clothes because I really only like skirts and dresses back then. As for my hair that was fine too, but I love food to damn much to let anyone dictate to me what I could eat. So I had to let him go.

    I was willing to keep believing in and surviving my God and he was fine to worship Allah. If there is a great connection I really don't see why there would be a problem if two people of different faiths fall in love.

  2. Since I am more spiritual than religious, I have not had a problem dating an agnostic or atheist.

    As long as they did not "push their views" down my throat, believed that theirs was the only correct view and respected my beliefs - we are cool.

    As long as we could have healthy discussions on the issue, it can work for me.

  3. It would be a deal breaker for me.

    My daughter's father was Muslim and I am Christian and there wasn't a problem.

    We introduced her to both religions and she eventually chose her ministry in Christianity as an adult.

    But an agnostic or an atheist would present problems for me. We would be so unequally yoked!


  4. I am not religious at all. I have dated men of various religions-Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, agnostic and atheist. I was married to a Muslim. I could not be with anyone who was religious and was over the top with it.

  5. To answer your last question, as long as the person was not trying to change my beliefs, then I think I would be okay. I would respect his right to believe or not, as long as he treated people right and would expect him to respect my choices.

  6. How can two walk together except they agree.

    One's faith, not religion is a major part of your life. At least it is for me. Therefore when I go to worship I want my mate, spouse etc, worshiping too.

    A house divided will not stand.

    No compromise with me.


  7. When I was younger, I would have said love conquers all and that couples of different religious or spiritual persuasions can make it work. After living a lotta life and observing a lotta life, I've grown the appreciate the term 'unevenly yoked.'