Jun 24, 2009

Ok, so yesterday I had a mini breakdown on Twitter and decided I've had enough with these men and the games that they play [not all men, but most of them].  I had Kelis' song "I Hate You So Much Right Now" on full blast in my room when I had an epiphany.  You see I could relate to everything that song was saying and I knew that meant it was time for action.  In the words of the great Fannie Lou Hamer, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired."  So, I decided I was going to take myself out of the game for a week.  You know, take a mini sabbatical and get my mind right.  Well, eventually after talking to a friend I realized that taking a week wasn't long enough.  I needed to give myself at least a month to reevaluate and figure out what was really going on.  You see its very easy for me to lay all the blame of my problems at the feet of men, but at the end of the day, I am the common denominator in this situation.  I need to figure out what it is about me that keeps attracting these emotionally unavailable men.  Am I the one whose really emotionally unavailable and thus I keep attracting men just like me?  And if I am emotionally unavailable, why is that?  You see there are so many questions I need to ask myself and I need to be honest with my answers.  I have to be honest enough with myself to admit the fact I don't really know what I want in a man.  I know what I don't want, but I don't know what I want.  It's very easy to say I want a man who is honest, kind, romantic, spiritual, funny you know all the typical stuff, but is that enough?
I want to figure out why is it that I know some of the most wonderful women on earth and they're all single.  I'm talking about professional-god-fearing-volunteer in their community-know how to burn in the kitchen type women and they're all single.  What is this really all about?  Why can't these sistas get a man that love them for them?  It amazes me.  I know all the blame can't be place on the man so I want to figure out what is it that we as women are doing wrong.  I realize this may extend my strike to a time period longer than a month, but I am willing to make the sacrifice.  Hell, if I'm able to solve this riddle I might as well throw World Peace into the mix...LOL!!!  I realize I may have a better chance at that. 
I plan on talking to other women and men to find out what is really going on.  I will also be talking to some married couples to see how they got together and how they are making it work.  I'm not talking about just newlyweds, but people who have been together for ten plus years and are still in love with each other (this is very important because there are some people who are married in name only).   
I guess the reason I am doing this is because the romantic side of me refuses to believe that love and marriage is a thing of the past.  I guess you can chop that up to me being a Pisces.  So, I hope you guys will come along as I chronicle my journey on my Man-Strike.  This strike is not about bashing men, but rather about me getting some clarity for myself and removing all the noise that has become apart of my life.  So if you wish to join me on this journey just leave me a comment in the comment section.  Even if you don't want to join me please leave me a comment anyway.  I love to know what you guys think (Good or Bad).
This is The Savvy Sista and I approve this message...................... 


  1. my friend and i are constantly talking about why we keep running into men who are only out for one thing, who can't commit, or who are just no good. i know there are good men out there but i have started to think about what i'm doing OR not doing to attract those types of men. we ran into one yesterday and i was literally scratching my head trying to figure why we were so impressed with him, then i got it. it was because he's the type of man that i've never met or had the chance to interact with. good luck on your journey and hopefully you'll find the answers you need. in the mean time i'll be reading.

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  3. What a great show topic...I hear a lil' "My Life" album playing in the background..LoL! We have all been thru it, going thru it, but such is life...Finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack...I think God will send you the right man at the right time, when he is ready for you to have the proper mate.Until then think of the others as speed bumps along the way....

  4. hey
    so i have been dealing with it too.
    been reading books and articles too.
    what i know is that all these men we meet on the regular aren't for us. how many men do you meet that you would consider to be a good catch? often times we think of what he can become instead of what he is offering. that theory comes from a good woman can bring out the good in any man. i'm in this harvey book right now. many men are fishing and shoot it seems all of them are fishing from jump. what i know is we don't have to put up with some of the bs like the calls and texts. with the magic words delete my number or by not giving it out.

    i think men that seem like such a great catch that are single is b/c of choices they haven't met the person they want to be all into. for a woman it is b/c we haven't met the man who fits the standards and is making an effort for anything other than sex.
    in other words men and women have different standards.

    i look forward to taking this journey with you. maybe i can exchange my own outcomes. b/c right my phone is turned off. I'm always on this up and down b/w not dealing with bs and wanting a little bit of company.

  5. i don't think in most cases we are doing anything to attract those kinds of men. i think the woman that doesn't look like halle berry that men are afraid to approach are fair game and men are goin to test the waters. straight up i know that stepping outside of my house is not wrong even though that is simple enough to attract these types of men to me. we just have to close those doors. no pity conversations and have barriers.

    i'm not what a man in law school is looking for i know except maybe for sex. so what can i do to attract these types of men. be on my game and dress better. lol
    eff it i'm rambling now.
    this is impossible to understand when and how and why men love what they love when they love it.
    i'm single b/c i haven't met the right guy yet.

  6. I want to thank everyone who has commented and get what I am trying to do. I want anyone who wishes to come on this journey with me to please share and be apart of it. So Must Love Movies you know that mean I'm talking to you.

    Yazmar, you know I am definitely going to turn this into a show and I want some of the women who are taking this journey with me to participate in the show.

    I'm glad you ladies understand that this is not about men per se but about us as women and the choices (or lack thereof) we have made. Its about us being accountable to ourselves and taking responsibility for our actions. We can't be perpetual victims when it come to these men. We have to understand our part in the problem and change it. We get treated the way we do because we allow it. Forget raising our standards. How about we get some instead.

    This is The Savvy Sista and I approve this message.