Jun 15, 2011

I can't say that I'm naive enough not to have seen this argument coming. Recently, a writer for TheRoot.com broached this subject material in an article entitled, 'Hawthorne': TV Love in Black and White. The article talks about how some black women are hypocrites when it comes to their celebration of the interracial love story for the television show, 'HawthoRNe', but yet when a show has a black male in an interracial relationship they tend to be critical and upset at the pairing.

Here the author offers his main critique:

At the heart of my critique is the hypocrisy of some black women, who are fine with Hawthorne's interracial love stories but would protest if the situation were reversed. I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that many -- more like most -- of my black female friends and colleagues are over the whole interracial hysteria.

Now, I know immediately for a lot of us, our first reaction is to get upset at an express sentiment coming from a brother no less, but before you tear the author apart with your words, I'm asking that you give his argument some sincere consideration. I've been to enough comment boards and websites to know how 'some' of us feel when we constantly see 'our' men being paired with a non-black love interest in films and on the small screen. There is some real frustration there.

So, is it safe to say that there maybe some hyprocrisy there when we are quick to celebrate black women who are in interracial relationships but demonize brothers who are in the same types of relationships? Can you name one black female who got treated the same way Taye Diggs was when it was revealed he was married to a white woman? It's not like we don't know of plenty of black women who primarily date outside their race, but yet they don't have the same stigma attached to them. Why is that?

In my opinion, I don't think black women celebrating the love on 'HawthoRNe' makes us hypocrites. I don't think it's the interracial aspect that black women are celebrating; moreover, then the fact that a black women is deemed desirable and an object of affection for men. That is cause for celebration for me. It has nothing to do with race. Trust me, nobody loves 'Black Love' more than me, but I can appreciate seeing a black women being deemed desirable and just for her body parts.



  1. I guess it just depends on what angle you look at it from. My general opinion is like you said, the black woman finding love, in a culture that deems her undesirable seemingly across all racial groups.

    That seems to be the underlying reason for the outcry about black men dating outside of the race...supposedly at a certain levels, black women aren't good enough to be on their arms or on the arms of any man.

    If the argument is strictly about staying within the race, then it would be viewed as hypocrisy but that's never been the true reason for the disgust, in my estimation.

    Personally, it's a topic that I've intellectually understood but it never resonated with me because I never took the idea of a black man dating outside of his race a personal rejection of me as a black woman.

  2. @Johanna you bring up a couple of excellent points.

    Sometimes we need to consider the source when it comes to those that say black women arent good enough. Take for instance Mr. Albert Haynesworth. Here's a black man that makes a statement about black women when the fact of the matter is if he didnt have money I doubt very seriously black or white women would even give him a second look.

    I dont take it as a personal rejection of myself, or black men as a whole, if I happen to see a biracial couple where the woman is black even though that is a rare site.

    Are there cases where men, or portions of society, deem black woman as undesirable? Of course, but I truly believe the majority of us feel the exact opposite when it comes to black woman. Society has a definition of beauty or desirability that i've never understood. One should look at the entire woman as far as i'm concerned, The eyes, the personality, the way she walks and dresses. How does she treat others, her smile, her skin tone.

    All of these and more make an attractive, desirable woman.

    By the way, love the site and I'm here because I enjoy getting a womans perspective when it comes to a lot of issues. Maybe this world would be a much better place if more of us did.


  3. As a black man that dated and loved a dark skinned sister, I know how this feel intimately. My ex, bitched, and moaned, and cried on my shoulder more than once about how dark skinned sisters are treated, and about black men dating white women. Even commenting that those who do, have a hidden self hate within them.

    So what does she do when she gets rid of the good, black man that many say dont exist. Yup, dating a white man now. So I yes many are hypocrites and my ex is a BIG TIME ONE.