Jun 7, 2011

So I was checking out the news as I always do, and I ran across an article that immediately piqued my interest. The article was entitled, "Uncovering the Truth: Why Women 'Fake It'". So, being the grown woman that I am of course I wanted to know the answer to that question since I vowed a few years back to never fake an orgasm again because I feel like it does a disservice to me as well as to my partner. The answer that the author gave was not something I was expecting.

Here is what the author wrote:

Cooper surveyed 366 females ages 18 to 32 who had indicated they endorse faking orgasms, about their sexual habits, their reasons for faking it during a past relationship and their feelings about intimacy.

Many of these women said they faked it due to their own fear of intimacy; they also reported faking orgasm because they felt insecure about their sexual functioning, or because they want to get it over with.

There was also a small group of participants who did it to enhance their own sexual experience. "This small subset of women who are faking orgasm for the purposes of increasing their own arousal, actually have higher levels of sexual satisfaction," Cooper said. "So, maybe we should not be questioning their strategy; it's one of many tools in their toolboxes for having a positive sexual experience."

Now, I'm sorry. I don't know who this group of 366 females are but they don't represent the women I know. Most of the women I know that are faking it are doing so because they are not deriving any pleasure from it and just want to get it over with. We place so much pressure on ourselves to have a sexual experience like the ones we see in the movies i.e. Sex and the City, but the truth of the matter is reality is not like that. For a lot of women, they don't think they are supposed to get any pleasure from sex. To them, sex is just a duty they are required to fill if they want to be a good girlfriend or wife.

Women have many societal constraints on them when it comes to sex. We walk a thin line between being a "lady" and a "street walker". If you are a sexually liberated woman than instantly you are considered a loose woman. Women are not allowed to explore our sexuality and thus that is the reason I believe a lot of us are faking it. Now, I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

I realize I'm not a Ph.D but I am a woman. I was one of those women who didn't understand all the hype surrounding sex. I thought it was very overrated, that is, until I ran across this man who seemed to know my body better than I did. Now, I completely understand the hype and why I deserve to derive pleasure from sex and not fake pleasure. Sex is to be enjoyed. Safe Sex that is!


1 comment:

  1. I am lucky enough, that on my first experience to have had an orgasm. I did not even know there was a word to describe such a feeling. Afraid to ask anyone. I, Like you refuse to fake it, no point. The last time I faked it, I was insecure with my partner. That caused a mental block, just could not relax or be myself. So I stopped dating him.