Jul 6, 2011

So today a woman stopped me to ask me about my hair. She big chopped back in April and now she was wondering about her styling options. We conversed for about 20 minutes and exchanged email addresses and just as we were about to part ways as new friends she says to me, "Thank God my husband is white. You know a brother would have never supported me wearing my natural fro." My mouth, literally fell open.

Let me stop for just a minute because I have noticed that some of you like to take my words out of context and infer things that I never said. Just so the record is clear, I, not only support interracial dating but also encourage it, especially for Black women. I was raised in a strong Black family, I believe in strong Black families and I dream of raising my own strong Black family. But we live in a society where Black women are often treated as the low rung on the totem pole, and so I tell my girlfriends all the time find a man that loves and adores you foremost, let his race be the last thing on your mind.

Okay, now back to the subject at hand. She is not the first Black woman I have heard accuse Black men of having disdain for natural hair but she is the first person I ever heard phrase it that way and I felt duty bound to defend my brothers. I don't doubt that some Black men prefer the look of straight hair, just like some prefer big booties, some like short women while others don't want a chick under 5'7. And it's okay for them to have that preference.

But it's not right for us to just assume that all Black men feel one way about the subject. So today, I conducted my own un-scientific study of Black men and their opinions on natural hair. By un-scientific, I mean I went on my facebook to hit up all of my Black male friends and ask them how they felt about natural hair.

I think the results will amaze some of you. For some of them, their first response was an automatic, "I love natural hair." I did get a little resistance from a few of them but when I emailed them pictures of some Black women with natural hair, they all commented on how attractive the women were and that their hair enhanced that beauty.

Since I had their attention, I also asked them how they felt about weave. Surprisingly, not one of them has ever or would ever ask a woman to get a weave. They said if they meet a woman with a weave and it's not over the top then it is okay with them but they would never suggest to a woman with short hair that she should get a weave and they would still date a woman with short hair and no weave. Even the 3 guys who admitted that they really prefer long hair on a woman (oh and you should know that men consider anything past your shoulders to be long hair) didn't want the long hair to be a weave.

The one thing that they all agreed on is that confidence is one of the most attractive features a woman could have. So, if you're walking around with a frown plastered on your face and your arms crossed because you think men will not approach you because your hair is natural, then you're right; they are not going to approach you but it has nothing to do with your hair.

Lastly, the men did they say that all hair, including natural hair, needs to look "done". My eyebrow kind of raised at first, but when you think about it makes perfect sense. Of course they want you to look polished. Having natural hair is no excuse for not being properly groomed. Pick out that fro, moisturize it well so that it looks like the crowning glory it was meant to be and the men will be falling at your feet.

Okay, I'll be back in a few to read your witty comments and scathing emails but first I have to go send this blog to my new friend so she knows that even if she had married a brother, he would have supported her natural journey.

Lovely Locks

1 comment:

  1. Great post! I hear people say the same thing all the time.