May 22, 2013

Steubenville. Dunbar Village. Cleveland, Texas. Rick Ross. Morehouse College. Chicago.  What does these things have in common.  They all are or have had incidences that are indicative of the rape culture that is running rampant in this country.

For so long, the burden of a rape has been placed on the shoulders of the victim.  In the instance of rape the first question that is normally asked by the society as a whole is, "What did she do to cause this to happen to her?"  But no one ever seems to want to ask, "What would make someone think it's okay to do this?"

In the case of Steubenville, the entire town backed the perpetrators until the pictures of what happened to the victim surfaced, but even then people still supported the perpetrators.

Somehow we have this need to hold our girls to these ridiculous standards of perfection, but there is never any accountability for our boys and their behavior.  Boys are allowed to be 'just boys' but somehow pre-teen and teenage girls are supposed to have the mindset of an adult.  Teenage girls are expected to not make a mistake because if they do some boy is going to rape them and its going to be all their fault.

That is the message we have sent to our daughters when it comes to this rape culture that has permeated our society. 

I've heard people say that the young girl in Steubenville should also be held accountable for her actions because she had no business drinking.  Oh that's right, I didn't realize underage drinking gave people a right to rape someone.  My bad.  What was I thinking?

I'm sure in the Chicago case there are people who were probably wondering what does a 12 year old girl need to talk to a 16 year old boy about.  Don't pretend you haven't heard people make such a ridiculous assertion before.

These are the ridiculous things people say in order to justify what is going on.  When is someone going to stand up and ask why do our boys think that taking advantage of a girl when she is incapacitated is a cool thing to do?  When are we going to demand more of our boys?  When are we going to stop telling our daughters not to get rape and demand that our sons don't rape?

I applaud the people who took on Rick Ross and his ridiculous lyrics celebrating putting a 'Molly' in a girls drink.  This is the type of stuff we must have more of.  More people have to stand up if we're ever going to change our society.

And in the case of Steubenville and Morehouse College, people have to step up when they witness things like this taking place.  In the alleged rape of the Spelman student by the Morehouse students, there were witnesses there that were supposed to have been the victim's friends.  But yet, not one of them step forward to help the alleged victim.

I don't understand what's wrong with us as a people.  I realize we live in a patriarchal society, but even men should want better and demand better for their daughters.

We have to stop this pathology of blaming the victim and then figure out why we have this innate need to blame the victim in the first place.



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